i just dont get it. one minute, there is hope and the next it is gone. i hate being this girl, the one who will think about the guy when he obviously doesnt care. i thought you might be different, but you are just the same. perhaps even worse because you really got my hopes up. i tell myself to leave it to fate, give it time but it is so hard when all my life i have just been let down and forgotten. instead of being nice to me, i would rather you tell it straight, do not let me wait around for something that is never going to happen. i dont want to wait and sit here and imagine a perfect world where everything works for the best. 

i am going to take the same advice i gave you. if a person is meant to be in your life, they will be. true relationships, whether platonic or romantic, will last through heartache and the tests of time. i will wait it out, i will summon the little patience i have for love and wait. however i am not going to be here forever, at least not in this way. i would love to always be your friend and in your life. but please do not raise my hopes only to crush them.

g’night.